Fashion's not the only thing Ottawa fails on

A little unorthodox, perhaps, but in the interest of the readers of this blog I spent the last 5 minutes rummaging through the rubbish (yes! . . as a citizen of the United Kingdom - and also of Canada - I am being entirely mocking of those taking exception with my adoption of British idioms for literary purposes, . . . although I'm willing to concede to them. . . except on pronunciation of the word tomato [tuh-mah-toh]), which I've used my entire life!

Anyway, back to the rubbish - I was searching for the piece of packaging that had the price on it of the smoked meat that we had tonight. And fortunately, somewhere under mushy leftover dog food, the dregs of a green salad, and dirty rice and beans, I found it: $32.99/Kg.

Yes. . . Ok. . . I hear what you're saying - $32.99 for smoked meat?!

But here me out. . . and here I'll digress. . . and I'll ignore your groans!

First off, this was house made, local-to-Ottawa smoked meat. And good smoked meat in Ottawa is unbelievably difficult to find. Believe it or not, Ottawa is not a haven for smoked meat; and, given it's proximity to Montreal this is disappointing. You would hope that the proximity of the two cities would have created some culinary osmosis - but it hasn't (and if I was writing a blog about style and clothing I would probably say the same thing - see: "City ranks No. 8 on list of worst dressed cities"). But I'd venture to say that Ottawa and Montreal are a microcosm of two nations. . . one - fashion, culture, language and food. . . and one - Not!

But limiting it to smoked meat, Ottawa's heritage resides principally in "Nates". This smoked meat deli had for years been located close to the corner of Rideau St. and King Edward - it closed in 2010, only to re-open on Merivale Road a year later as Nate's Family Kitchen (but I have yet to read anything positive about the place - and frankly, I don't expect to. . . after all, we're talking Merivale Road). And while there are some other places that people on the World Wide Web point to as having "great smoked meat", the reviews are generally spotty.

But then I recognize that not all Montreal smoked meat is created equal. Ben's was awesome - Dunn's, less so. And here we come to the crux of the issue. In my humble opinion, and certainly others may argue otherwise, smoked meat comes down to 3 key elements: flavour, juiciness, and fat! And it is the fat, again in my opinion, that delineates good and great smoked meat.

Seriously, if you're inclined to test my theory, whip down to the Byward Market to visit Dunn's - oh, or any one of the 3 other locations in Ottawa; or if you happen to be in Vancouver you can go to the one there. . . or if you're in Australia, you can get it at the Costco in Sydney, Melbourne or Canberra. . . ya!

And then on your way back from Australia arrange a lay-over in Montreal for a few hours and head to Schwartz's. . . but don't be intimidated by the line-up. In fact, if it's just about the smoked meat - as opposed to the charming ambiance - have the cab driver wait while you go to the "take-out" side of the diner and then you'll have something to eat on your way back to the airport. And order it with extra fat, otherwise what's the point.

So back to Ottawa. In my experience the smoked meat that you find in Ottawa lacks fat. And everyone knows, where be fat, there be flavour. Now, as some of you regular readers will know, I bequeathed my Bradley Smoker to the husband of a friend of mine - someone who has a shared interest in experimenting with food (and I pray my friendship with his spouse can survive this); but I never got around to smoking my own meat. . . uhmmm, making my own smoked meat. In fact, beyond an understanding that I should brine the meat for a period of time, I failed to move beyond first base! I think cold smoking a brisket - or whatever you have to do to make good smoked meat - is a huge culinary testosterone test - an instant pass into a secret club with it's own man language! And I think a big part of this is finding a brisket that hasn't been trimmed by the butcher - so there's a good amount of fat on it. . . and in it.

And this is where I come full circle to the $32.99/Kg smoked meat. A person can go to any cold-meat deli in Ottawa and buy "Montreal Smoked Meat" - and it's reasonably tasty. But Sasloves in Westboro prepares its own smoked meat. Now before you go and get all "national" on me, this is not Montreal smoked meat! For starters, it lacks all of the outer layer of fat. But it is extremely well marbled, which provides a good amount of juiciness and some great natural flavour, as well as creating wonderful chin-dripping juice. Added to this, it is nicely spiced.

So not to take anything away from Schwartz's (at $28.49/Kg) - which is well worth a 2 hour drive on any weekend to build an inventory of smoked meat in your freezer - Saslove's is a pretty darn good stand-in to provide an extremely tasty weeknight meal - particularly since there isn't anything comparable in the Ottawa deli scene. . . at least not until my friend's husband decides to step up, open some gourmet smoked meat truck, and start contributing to that "language".