If Only I could Diss Like He Does

I've read the book, I've seen the series, and now I've listened to the Book-on-Tape, and I can honestly say, I never get tired of listening to Anthony Bourdain cuss. Now, I've been told by some of my co-workers that I have a mouth on me like a trailer-park whore. I've even had a limerick written about the morning ritual in my office of turning up the tunes, booting up the computer and then letting a stream of invectives fly against that evil borg in Redmond. But there's nothing more enjoyable than slow-roasting some fresh, garlic and herb-crusted tomatoes, pan-frying some diced tomatoes, leeks and lobster mushrooms, and grilling up a london broil while listening to Anthony carry-on about some "fat, worthless, syphalitic, pile of badger dung". Nobody does it better!