An Important Community Service

I try to avoid writing restaurant reviews because I think they take a special skill that I lack. For one, you have to be selfless - eat things on the menu that you really don't feel like having so you can advise others. That is not one of my traits. Frankly, when it comes to selecting menu items I believe in caveat emptor. But I'm compelled to perform a community service. This morning I had intended to have breakfast at Stone Face Dolly's, but was sadly let down.

At 10 am today, as far I was aware, there were two locations - the original Stone Face on the corner of MacLeod and Bronson (near Gladstone), and a newer, much larger one on Preston. I've always liked the quaint, confined, yet cozy feeling of the original location. The one on Preston comes painfully close to a contemporary plants & brass concept. I'll look forward to going at some point to test out the breakfast - but today was not the day.

Little did I know that the owner of Stone Face Dolly's had sold the original restaurant on Bronson, which has since become Jak's (Downtown Bistro) Kitchen. I understand that it is owned by the same people who own Kinky's in the Byward Market; and if word-of-mouth about another restaurant they own (Mambo Latino) is true, then my impression of Jak's should not have come as a surprise.

To put it bluntly, Jak's is not worth the gas to drive there, the wear on your shoes if you walked, or the oxygen you waste while you're waiting 40 minutes for the greasy, grossly over-priced bacon and eggs. The day before I ate at Jak's I had a quick B & E breakfast at Bramasole's on Bank. I paid something like $12 for two, and walked out of there with a full day ahead. Today I wasted an hour for a meal that cost me $30; ten minutes waiting for a menu, 45 minutes waiting to be served, and less than ten minutes spent eating. A standard Bacon and Eggs breakfast should be a cook's dream - if the restaurant is busy, you throw the bacon onto the corner of the griddle, you crack the eggs and you move on to other things - things that are more complicated than laying out 3 strips of bacon and cracking an egg or two.

On the positive side, while I waited I saw the cook lay-out numerous servings of Eggs Benedict, which just reminded me why you should never order Eggs Benedict - Jak's version was clearly not the "delicate emulsion of egg yolks and butter stored at room temperature" that keeps emergency room doctors busy with the Sunday morning brunch crowd. I also watched some of the other dishes being plated... sorry, dished up, and they were no more appetizing. The side accompaniment to each was a jaundiced glump of mash potatoe. I eventually tried it... one small fork of it was enough.

The kicker for me - what was eventually served was not even what I had ordered. I'm a big bacon fan; so when I order Bacon and Eggs I'll often order an extra serving of bacon. I appreciate that for a rookie waiter Bacon and Eggs might be a complicated order - especially when they've tagged it "The Standard" ! But come on - you add two pieces of brown toast (there's no option on the toast), some orange juice on request, and coffee. We're not talking about the scene from When Harry Met Sally.

This is a place to avoid for breakfast. Now, the original Stone Face Dolly's had a great "home style" menu for dinner and I assume it's been maintained at the new Preston location. I have no idea whether Jak's is going to be open for dinner - and I have no intention of finding out. After seeing the way they handle a breakfast I can only imagine what's in store for dinner.