The First List

I believe that New Year's lists are so cliche that they've lost all entertainment value - but who's ever heard of a July 1st list?! So in an effort to breath some life into the venerable tradition I thought I'd start compiling monthly lists of on my favorite food subjects.

Breaking new ground here's my first - the subject being "Things that should be Skewered":

Number One - Airline Eggs
I recently flew first class (return) from Washington to CDG (that's kinda like KL - when you've been there you can say it), and experienced a great menu designed, in part, by Charlie Trotter. There were some really exquisite items on this menu - not a word you generally hear in the context of airline food; but on the flipside, the breakfast featured the ubiquisite airline egg! This is a food product all on its own with no naturally known taste comparison. I don't know how it is manufactured - but whatever the key ingredient is they ought to stop feeding it to people who've forked over eight hundred plus dollars - perhaps supply it to the american military for use in their torture of Iraqi prisoners. Charlie, throw us a bone here!

Number Two - Sun-blushed Anything
What does that mean, really?! When I see the word "sun" hypehen-anything to describe something on a menu I'm immediately suspicious that someone is applying a little camouflage - or at best, self-aggandisement. Personally, when I get sun-dried, sun-blushed or sun-burnt I'm usually nautious or in pain - so why do we think that food will be otherwise!

Number Three - The Sushi Lunch
I read an article recently that attributed the growth and success of sushi restaurants to the egregious (sic) expense account that grew out of the internet boom - it went on to suggest that the only people who could afford to have sushi at lunch were those who could expense it. I think there's an interesting subtlety in this statement. So as american productivity continues to tank, drawing the rest of the world economy with it, maybe we should say "No" to the sushi lunch, and while the money is unlikely to make an impact - the message it sends will!

Number Four - Salad Dressing
Now don't get all CEO on me, I'm not suggesting that we abolish salad dressing; but it's about time the food industry - by this I mean anyone who serves food. . . to anyone - look up the meaning of the word "dressing"! It's called a dressing not a bath. On my recent trip to Belgium I experienced the "naked salad" in which there was no dressing. To my tastes that was a little Calvinesque, but I think it's about time we showed some restraint. Lettuce is a subtle plant - a light drizzle of vinaigette will suffice. . . And don't get me started on the neanderthall who came up with the concept of "ranch"!

Number Five - Lays Packaging
Okay, I've been on this one before; but seriously, I think the branding police at this Texas-based company have too much power. Lays truly has some intriguing flavours in their product line, often adopting regional tastes - where else but in France would you find Provence herbs and roast tomato, and in Canada curry (ok, that may be a regional stretch). But they really do have some interesting flavours, even if you discount the 20 odd that all seem to be a twist on BBQ. But their packaging sucks! It does nothing for the imagination. Passing through Paris recently I saw the much herald Roast Chicken with Lemon and Thyme which I had last written about when it was part of the Walker's line up - just look at that packaging and then have a look at what lays has done to it! Ya - do I need to say more? Guys, there are plenty of marketing folks out there to help you with your branding. . . maybe not in Texas, but there really is a world of talent beyond the Lone Star State!