I feel Used!

OK... who in their right fricken' mind tries to sniff wasabi?

I live a sheltered Life. I'd like to think this gives me hope; if naiveté is a reflection of youth, I have a good many years ahead of me. Anyone under thirty out there? On Iron Chef America tonight I was watching the uber uber Chef Mario Batali get absolutely savaged for his performance in Battle Shrimp - Jeffrey Steingarten actually said that it was the first time he actually "hated" something Mario Batali had prepared. Ok, it was a Parfait of Shrimp Remoulade with creme fraiche...; but telling Mario that you "hate it"? Them fighten words!

But I digress. So in addition to watching my emerging icon's embarassing performance with shrimp (wait for my update on the Uber Chef's recent restaurant debacle and my review of his literary version of a Greatest Hits album to appreciate the change of control here), I learned something new about the restaurant's manipulation of the eating public. It's worse because it comes at the expense of us poor Sushi lovers.

And here it is: the Wasabi we get in Sushi restaurants is not real wasabi! Apparerently real wasabi is too expensive. This little tidbit of raw fish trivia was revealed by Alton Brown , another uber chef challenger - albeit from a "people's perspective"; but I checked it out on the World Wide Web and, sure enough, consensus reigns - sushi restaurants are pulling one over on us. In fact, one manufacturer of restaurant-style wasabi consisted of "a (b)lend of horseradish, mustard, tapioca starch and wasabi." Tapioca Starch...!! I don't think that's something you want to serve alongside fresh Yellowtail.

Again - I'm a very trusting person. When I hear about someone I know who's foolin' around, I'm like that little kid walkin' up to Shoeless Joe - "say it ain't so"! Just try to convince me that Bill had sex with Monica!

But then there's Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wasabi

"Almost all sushi bars in America, and some cheap ones in Japan, serve imitation (seiyō) wasabi (see Etymology section, below) because authentic wasabi is relatively more expensive. Although harder to find, real wasabi powder (from Wasabia japonica plant) is a convenient way to experience true wasabi's remarkable flavor, but most commercially available "wasabi" powders contain no true wasabi at all. Most utilize a powdered imitation made from horseradish, mustard seed, and green food coloring (sometimes Spirulina)."

Green Food colouring!?? That says it all! So clearly I have more years ahead of me. Anyone out there looking for an intelligent, reasonably attractive (cut me some slack here guys), 40 something, with impeccable style who loves to cook, enjoys roller blading (if it's not too windy), with an eclectic taste in music and witty reparteé... who's perhaps just a little too naive... oh, and once loved sushi!